The Secret Garden

Now, if I ever lost someone for having too much depth, for having too much soul, for having standards too high, for dreaming too big, for putting work before play, for keeping it real, for loving too hard, for pushing them to see that the grass is only greener where you water it….

Then the loss was not mine to begin with.

To the strong and more-than-capable women of 2017 in their 20’s that get labeled intimidating; this one is for you.

 

I’m intimidating because I know what I want.  Because I work two jobs, regardless how tired I will be the next day.  Sometimes the next day I do it all over again.  Because I travel.  Because I speak, usually it’s raw and uncut.. but hell, do I speak.  Because I’ll buy you a drink, I’ll tell you I want to see you tonight or again.  Because my hair is dark and my eyes are darker and you can’t quite figure out what’s going on when you look into them.  And I know you love to look.  So you just smirk, sort of sheepishly, because you’re all of a sudden very perplexed and overwhelmed….by me.

 

I don’t need anyone to pay for me.  I don’t need you to have an immaculate job.  I’ll do what is best for me, you do what is best for you.  And together we will push forward the best versions of ourselves.  You’re on no time limit to say you love me or even love me at all.  I live for the memories and pure goodness of it.  If you need materialistic things, or the kind of attention that keeps your relationship running …. try again.

I don’t care how your insecurities make you feel, because I don’t see them like you do.  Tell me every single one.  I don’t care about what embarrasses you about your friends or your family that you don’t want to expose me to, nobody is you and that is your power.  I don’t care if you don’t know much about history, science, or politics.  Fine.  But show me you.  I want laughs, truth, and stability.  Communication, honesty, and consistency.  That’s what I care about.

I don’t settle for what I’m familiar with.  I settle for what I deserve, or what I know will do right by me.  I do hand out chances like candy.  I give people time to pull their shit together before I cut them off and just bury the situation.  I mean, you let one thing slide and people think they can freakin’ ice skate but I’m very aware and on my toes, and I usually know what I’m doing.  We’re human.  We make mistakes.  We try to tell white lies and think the other doesn’t notice, but I always do.  Rule #1 is if something feels off, then it is.  We all have the intuition, live by it.  Have your sex, but have more soul.  Both can turn you on, but only one can sit higher.  Sex can be found anywhere, sex is sex.  But soul is not soul.  It’s a rarity, and sometimes honey, you can not have your cake and eat it too.  At the end of the day, you should be driven by quality.  Driven by something or someone that just makes you feel free in both your heart and mind.  And if you settle for something less than that, I don’t believe you’ll ever find what you’re looking for.

 

Listen, there is a mad amount of people in the world.  It’s your garden, pick your rose and risk losing a little blood and tears along the way.  Choose wisely and good luck.

 

A.

 

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