Yeah, that magical feeling you get when you meet someone that just fits for you.
You see sparks.
But sparks also burn out.
Let’s play it fair, even though at the end of the day someone is getting the shitty end of the stick.
Here’s the thing with toxic people: you can’t live with them and for some odd reason you just can’t live without them. There are so many reasons to leave and two reasons to stay – love and comfort.
When you’re in a position of wanting something you can’t really have, you have to be understanding. You have to try to understand and empathize with what it takes to be without someone that has been riding the wave of life with you. It’s sad, really. It’s sad to think you may have come all this way, conquered all those tough times, just to realize there’s too many differences that can’t be swept aside anymore. It sucks, but it happens. I think I mentioned before in Field of Attraction that if you met someone different that can shine some light on those dark areas of your life then sometimes the past is better left in the past.
But you are only allowed to be so understanding. I don’t encourage anyone to be on stand-by for someone. I don’t encourage a person to play a rebound. Rule number one, never be number two. But sometimes you need to wait it out for a few and let everyone play their roll. Don’t fight, don’t compete, just have one foot in and one foot out. I have always stood by these words. Accept them in your life, but kind of expect some interruptions. I guess what I’m saying is don’t have such open arms.
Here is the thing with accepting and expecting, though. If you expect it to go wrong, then you will eventually convince yourself that it is going wrong. Or that it definitely will go wrong. Somehow, I think the fault will be yours. That type of thinking in such a fragile situation can really destroy what you’re trying to build. All of a sudden, you now have trust issues with him/her that you created by yourself. It’s damaging.
Always be on the same page, but don’t apply pressure. It takes time. As easy as it is to jump to one person to the next, that foundation between two people takes time to make as it does to break. Moving on is a slow and pretty unsteady process. If you need reassurance of where you stand with someone then simply, yet appropriately, ask. It’s that cut and dry. You need just need to let it all do it’s thing.
I know I’m not alone on this: in most cases, I generate all these different outcomes in the back burner of my mind. I’ve already thought about a number of things that could occur for better or for worse. This is either helpful or a good method to fuck myself over. Helpful, in the event it doesn’t work out: I end up O.K. because I’ve already worked it out and predicted it many times in my head. At that point, it’s really just déjà vu. On the other hand, could fuck me over because I thought about all the greatness and potentiality of it all, and it backfired like a fucking flip that turned into a belly-flop in a pool. It’s a deadly mix between truth, desire and being utterly blind.
So, that’s why I always ask for honesty. I’m naturally a rational and practical person. I try my best to put myself in the shoes of others, and somehow I sort it out. Although you and I may not be or react the same, I hope you have a good sense of being able to compromise whether it’s in your favor or not.
The trick about the use of the word magical in the beginning isn’t because it isn’t real, but because it can go away so quickly. In a flash it’s like whatever happened, never happened. The power a person holds is that he/she can take it away and you just have to deal with it. Someone has to lose.
But, to the person stuck between what to do:
Do whatever is good for your soul. Relationships shouldn’t be so complicated. They require effort, but at the same time a very minimal amount. You should always remain true to yourself and all involved. I think the only way you can turn a bad thing good is to not change it at all. If there is nothing else to fight for and everything to fight about – change nothing. Just find the strength to remove yourself.
Fight the long nights, sometimes you’re better off going through them alone. Sometimes, you can spend years with someone and later find out that it doesn’t mean you’re meant to be. No amount of time will determine your future with someone. I often think that they lead you to someone better, as hard as it seems. It may not happen as quickly as you want the wound to heal, but a person will cross your path and I hope you allow yourself to take all the opportunity he/she has to offer. I think that, either way, you may be playing fire.
An open-mind will get you through the fear of letting go of someone and moving on with your life. Think about you. In short, I hope you find happiness that every good-spirited person deserves.
Let the magic happen.