New Beginnings

Smiling is so infectious. Some days don’t have the same spunk as another, today I thought was that day.  But it’s not.  I can either blame it on the caffeinated tea, or I can simply take credit for enjoying what I have and be okay with what I don’t.  At work, what really jumpstarted my day was seeing another person smile.  Seeing how happy and hyper he was instantly flowed over to me.  Even through the most confusing and complicated courses in life, one thing is for sure: yup, you guessed it – my motto, life goes on.  People must get so, so tired of me saying it but that’s because no one realizes how honest it is.

I am a happy person.  I’m in a good place.  I hurt and cry like anyone else.  But I smile and laugh more.  I refuse to fall.  I lose my balance, but I refuse to fall.  I’ve won the toughest battles I thought I would never encounter or even survive.  I know some instances are unbearable and suffocating with self-doubt and worth, but you just have to trust yourself enough to get through it.  It will only be as good as you allow it to be.  Days ago I was miserable, today I am a great.  Everyone heals differently, but positivity has changed my life so much.  I mumble “fuck” and get over it.  My vulgar mouth isn’t the positive part, but at least I got to the other side.  I can’t stand under grey skies, I just can’t.  I need to communicate, I need to laugh, and I need to smile.  I need to remember who I am.

You know what is great about people?  ….    There are so many of them.  So even when you lose one, just keep in mind there’s more where that came from.  The connections are endless.  Yes, I know – Nothing can compare to him/her, but that’s because you haven’t found the comparison.  You have to go through many to be at one.  Moving on is a slow and unsteady process, but it happens.  Days, weeks, months or years – but it happens.  It gets easier and you eventually learn how to function without what is missing.  You grow everyday.  You will soak in tears, you will stare at pictures that reveal the best memories, you will reminisce and dive into a pool of the past.  But at some point the pool needs to drain.  You need to let go and put away everything in it.

Nothing changes….if nothing changes.

You can cry over what is no longer available to you, yes.  Have at it.  But you can’t let it live your life for you.  Have your cry and get over it.  You can’t self-destruct, you have to be okay.  Locate your stability and remain resilient.  Everything is temporary, and human relationships are the least durable thing to hold on to.  In my post yesterday I mentioned how it’s hard to get back on track when things are left unfinished, but at the same time it’s better like that.  Sometimes it’s a good thing that things ended right where they did, and how they did.  When you lose someone you’re a little more prepared for what is to come than you were before.  You all of a sudden know things about yourself you never knew.  You learn what to expect, or what not to expect.  You learn about what you want or don’t want out of the next person.  All the wrongs one truly do lead to the right one.

So, dear reader –

The next time you lose someone, lose them with strength and your best well-being instead of sadness and desolation.  I hope you smile more than you will frown.  I hope you find a passion for forgiveness and positivity.  I hope when you’re at rock bottom you make beautiful designs with all the different things you’re surrounded by.  I hope you compliment someone without expecting a good thing in return.  I hope you also wish the best for the one who walked away, or are walking away from.  I hope you only get better, not bitter.  And remember, sometimes leaving is necessary.  When you love yourself and love someone else you have to make the better decision for the both of you.  I hope you do always stay strong, because in the end that’s the only rational option you will have.  I hope so many great things for you, but I hope you keep your hope.

Every ending truly is a new beginning.

 

A.

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