Sometimes I like to just kneel down before my window, with it open, and sit there in the dark. Collect all of me together, with or without the help of some innocent cannabis.
That’s my moment. I have two moments everyday. Before people around me are awake. And after people around me are asleep. I get to feel the breeze bring me everyone’s calmest vibes. It’s me, a single active street light, and the moon. The powerful moon, itself. Meanwhile, I listen to Calm Meditation Radio on Pandora to make sure all of me is in one single place.
We get blindfolded often, we never know what to do. We’re a fucked up species but we’re doing alright though.
Today has been an odd day for me. My thoughts are running a marathon up there, I wish it would just all slow down. Take it easy. Breathe. My own feelings are bombarding me and I feel defenseless. I feel like someone has slammed my head against a wall and my brain is just bouncing back and forth.
Sometimes I feel like my only chance to escape is when I get home from work and take a nap or at night when I finally fall asleep. That’s me saying can’t get me now, can ya? But today I didn’t. I forced myself to go out. I didn’t want the blindfold on anymore. Even when I feel like a mess and want to get away, I don’t want to blindfolded. (Mess for lack of a better term. The better term would be fucked-up, but we’ll keep it at mess.) Today I just sunk into a bubble; no appetite, no communication. Just me and my mind. My co-worker said he hates when I’m “bummed”, and my boss asked “what’s wrong, tired?” Yeah, that’s it. Bummed and tired.
I lose myself, but I find myself.
For you – I hope you take the blindfold off, too. Instead, take the two moments you have for yourself and get your shit together.
(image provided by Miquel Llonch)